It’s no secret that guys aren’t the best at articulating what they’re thinking.  They’d rather bend the truth a little than risk letting you down and you’re left with a baffling, cryptic code to decipher. We got guys to let us in on what some of their most said phrases really mean. There are 4 things he’ll never open up about.

1. He Says: “We should hang out sometime.”

He Means: “I’m afraid you’ll say ‘no’ if I ask you out.”

2. He Says: “I’ll call you later.”

He Means: “I may or may not call you at some point between now and three months from now.”

3. He Says: “My ex is crazy.”

He Means: “I messed her up, and she got upset.”

4. He Says: “That guy seems like a good friend of yours.”

He Means: “Was there ever a thing between you?”

5. He Says: “It’s a long story.”

He Means: “It’s a story that makes me look bad.”



6. He Says: “That’s a new look.”

He Means: “You look weird.”

7. He Says: “Why are you being so emotional?”

He Means: “Why are you acting like a psycho?”

8. He Says: “That’s not what I meant.”

He Means: “That’s totally what I meant, but now that I see you’re mad, I wish I hadn’t said it out loud.”

9. He Says: “It’s fine.”

He Means: “It’s not actually fine, but I’m in no mood to discuss it.”

10. He Says: “Can we talk about this later?”

He Means: “I never want to talk about this again.”

And there you have it! But keep in mind this interesting talk versus walk fact: Women prefer to bond with their partner via conversation, while the majority of men would rather engage in activities together. So next time, when you feel the urge to bond over a deep discussion, try planning a fun activity together instead. (Cosmo)

I’m not going to lie: A man boasting abs chiseled to perfection and biceps that pop just enough when flexed (without shredding shirts He-Man style) will no-doubt turn our heads. And even if caught mid check-him-out glance, we’re not about to look away. Fit, toned bodies are the result of hard work and dedication to a healthy lifestyle. We certainly pay homage to that. But for a man to achieve a skyrocketing score on the sexiness scale there’s got to be more to him than physical assets. Throw in these seven traits and he’s guaranteed irresistible.

1. He Has Mastered The Wink. We don’t know how they learn the technique but some guys really have the Richard Gere wink down pat. There’s an art to this wink and getting it right can be tricky. It’s more suave and smoky than cheeky and laughable. He’s comfortable giving this signal and has the timing to the tee. Done right, this move is pure sexy. Caveat: The wink can be tricky to pull off. Practice first.

2. He Radiates Calm. It’s sending shivers up our spine just thinking about how powerful a man’s calm presence can be. Neurotic or hyper or frenzied is stressful, no matter how busy the man or what his excuse. But if he’s got cool written all over his face and his gaze is pure steady and peaceful his sex appeal will shoot through the roof (think old-school James Dean). We women can unwillingly fall into the trap of over-worrying about things we can’t control. A man who sets us at ease by reminding us how things always manage to work out in the end is absolutely hot.  

3. He Takes Care Of Himself. Look, we’re not saying it’s a certain height or build that matters. If he keeps his body in relatively good shape this shows us he knows how to take care of himself. It also clues us in that he sets health as a priority. What’s more, if he’s active, working out even a few times a week, the endorphins his body is producing during gym sessions are sure to keep him in good spirits and energized. The bottom line: If he takes good care of himself he’s likely to take good care of his partner (or at least help keep her motivated to do so). That’s a turn-on.

  4. He’s Got Style. We don’t want to give the wrong idea here. This is not to say he has to be one certain type of style, and that mimicking a prescribed “it” style is a surefire path to sexy (whether that’s clean-cut, tattooed-up or punked-out). Not at all. Rather, what’s attractive in a guy is that he has a style at all, a way of dressing that reflects in some way who he is and what he’s into. A guy who wakes up hum-drum and throws the same dingy shirt and pair of jeans on every day? Not sexy. At all.

5. He Has A Manly Scent. Sounds so animalistic, we know. No man can control his natural scent, and it turns out our DNA compatibility dictates who smells good to us, anyway. But, every guy can augment his essence with a spritz (one will do just fine) of cologne. As long as it’s not overdone, a man with a strong scent has the potential to drive women wild.

6. He Is Affectionate. Though we women try not to let on, affection (be it an arm around the shoulder or hand on the leg) lights us up like fireflies. Consider it your secret weapon. By affection, we do mean to include expressing your feelings through words, such as “I love you.” It’s amazing how many hot men fall short of sexy just for lack of articulating and showing their love. Let’s put it this way: There are guys who reach out to their partner while driving, and there are guys who keep both hands on the wheel and eyes straight ahead. The lads of the former group qualify for sexy.

7. He Laughs Loud, Hard, Often. No news flash here. Comedy is highly enticing. It’s worth noting though that there are different types of humor. The insecure comedy that’s based on putting others down or calling them names doesn’t gibe with us. But give us fun-loving, belly-jiggling jokes and laughter and you’ll head straight to the top of the sexiness charts.  (Your Tango)

I’ve written numerous articles and posts on difficult people, personalities and relationships: Everything from Manipulative Marys to Bullies in the workplace to people who break boundaries to toxic relationships.  Let’s face it:  In life, we come across all kinds!  As humans, we often focus on those who are negative or toxic leaving it difficult to appreciate those who are positive and healthy.  Seeking out individuals with healthy, positive traits, however, may do a lot of good.  The more we can surround ourselves with those who are positive and healthy, the more we may model those positive behaviors.

If you really think about it, once in awhile you come across a person who knocks you off your socks…legitimately.  Maybe they have a fantastic outlook on life, even during difficult times.  Maybe they are really humble, although they are extremely gifted.  Maybe they make you feel special.  All of these are good.

Below, I’ve listed some of the traits I admire most in people.  Although I could probably list a dozen characteristics, I thought I’d list those that seem to be the rarest or most difficult to find.

1. Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common.  People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give.  Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special.  While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.


2. Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals.  All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies.  After all, these differences make the world go round.  Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships.


3. Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial.  Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess.  To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be.


4. Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us.  Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected.  Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.


5. Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find.  In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff…can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (balloon boy’s dad and any other reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today.


6. Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time.  Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.

Oh boy the list could go on!  What characteristics do you admire in others?  Are there any that you want to cultivate?

VALENTINE’S DAY is just around the corner for all you lovers in the Universe… the simplest things can be the most cherished & adored. It is truly what you can give w/ your creative mind & heart. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Just think: special & unique.

See this video:  a table set w/ roses or a single ROSE, a bottle of champagne, strawberries, cherries, choices of cheese, a box of chocolates, valentine’s heart candies that have messages written on them, a card w/ sentiments of love in your handwriting, a candle w/ a fresh scent,  a Romantic Comedy film, sexy background music, a nice massage w/ unscented oil,  a nice compliment or two about her/him at an opportune moment. For example:  if you paint, paint her something unique & personal. If you write music, write a song.  If you play piano or any musical instrument play for her.  If there’s a possession of yours that you don’t mind parting with, and you know she would cherish it, present her with that gift.

Use your mind, your heart, your senses… & it’s all FREE. The only thing it costs is your time, which is precious.

Cosmo: What Do Men Find Romantic?

It’s not that guys don’t enjoy the romantic aspects of a relationship. It’s just that they enjoy some more than others — and you may be surprised by what they prefer.

Overrated: Love letters

Underrated: Romantic texts

If a guy sits down to write you an actual love letter, he’s doing it to impress you. If he sends you a text out of nowhere telling you he’s thinking about you, he’s doing it because he can’t help himself.

Overrated: Picnics

Underrated: Cookouts

Eating outside is great. But when given a choice between obtaining their food from an adorable basket or from a flaming grill, guys will always pick the grill.

Overrated: The smell of your perfume

Underrated: The smell of your hair

There’s nothing wrong with the subtle application of the right perfume, but catching a whiff of that clean-yet-flowery girl-hair smell beats any fragrance.

Overrated: Humoring him by watching the game

Underrated: Doing your own thing while he watches the game

If you truly enjoy gorging on hot dogs while watching sports, that’s great. But if you’re doing it solely for his sake, there’s no need to bother — he knows that you’re a girl. And he likes that.

Overrated: Ballroom-dancing lessons

Underrated: Surfing lessons

Most any guy would love being active and learning new things with you. But if he has to worry about his footwork and balance, he’d rather not have to be wearing shimmery shirts while doing it.

Overrated: Bed and breakfasts

Underrated: Any other means of lodging

Breakfast is served from 6:30am to 6:45am, and we get to sit at a communal table with chatty 70-year-olds? How romantic!

Overrated: Valentine’s Day roses

Underrated: Flowers on a random day

V-Day roses require less than no imagination. But surprising you with flowers on a meaningless Tuesday is a sign that he doesn’t need greeting-card companies to tell him when to show you how much he cares.

Overrated: Make-up physical intimacy

Underrated: Not fighting in the first place

He hates arguing with you almost as much as he loves physical intimacy with you. So the make-up isn’t even close to being worth the excruciating pain of the fight that precedes it.

Overrated: Discussing your future house

Underrated: Discussing your future vacation

Contrary to popular belief, single men aren’t afraid to discuss or envision a future together. It’s just that they prefer to focus on certain aspects (relaxing on a beach) rather than others (grouting bathroom tile).

Overrated: Double dates

Underrated: Going to parties together

Double dates are often a little awkward. Seeing an entire party’s worth of guys look jealous when he walks in with you is always totally awesome.

“Unless you have suckled every part of your woman’s body, you can’t say that you know her completely.” Brenda Venus

1. Be yourself. (your best self, of course!) Don’t promote yourself. It’s smells of insecurity, and that’s a turn-off.


2. Every woman wants a confident man in the bedroom and out of the bedroom. Confidence is key. Confidence is an aphrodisiac and when you have it, everybody wants a taste.


3. The best time to meet the opposite sex is while you’re doing something that interests you. You’re guaranteed to have at least one thing in common.


4. Hands: Be aware of how you use your hands, especially on the first date. Don’t grop, just use them to guide her, gently. Remember she is judging you. She wants to know if you’ll be a good lover and a good mate.


5. Women want cool and detached, yet caring, attentive, thoughtful, and generous.


6. When you first have sex w/ a woman, go w/ what she’s familiar with, rather than introducing her to any new moves in the beginning. You can do that later.


7. Make a woman feel comfortable before you have sex. Even if your heart’s racing, take a deep breath and remember, sex is a dance – you lead, she leads, you are in rhythm, in step, with one another.


8. A guy who’s good in bed, handles a woman like he handles his car. You better know how to drive…she is watching if you’re aware, knowledgeable, rhythmic, easy w/ the touch, intuitive, and spontaneous.


9. When you can handle a woman, you can begin to have fun.


10. Most all women can cum in the missionary position. You need to know how to work your hips, and have upper body strength to support your weight when on top, so you don’t crush her.


11. Women don’t like for you to fumble during insertion of any type, whether the vagina, or putting on a condom. Pay attention, focus: know what you’re doing when you’re doing it.


12. Lubrication is communication! Make certain she’s adequately lubricated at all times, so you can always come back for more!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on what they said! Or maybe you have something to add?

1. Christina Applegate
   
   “Call us back right away. That ‘three day’ business does not apply. We’re getting older, and we don’t have time to screw around. Wait too long and we’ll lose interest. Trust me on this one.”


2. Courtney Cox
   
   “We pay closer attention to your hands than you think. It’s bad enough if you don’t have manly hands, but if your nails are longer than ours, forget it.”


3. Padma Lakshmi
   
   Some of us prefer boxing to yoga. None of us actually likes Pilates.”


4. Alyssa Milano
   
   “Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it’s a genderwide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy.”


5. Poppy Montgomery
   
   “When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you’re afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it’s always flattering when you hit on us. Always.”


6. Tea Leoni
   
   “Supersecret: Unless we’re blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you.”


7. Mariska Hargitay
   
   “We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it a black tie [event] or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that… what are you doing in there?”
   
   “We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish.”


8. Emily Deschanel
   
   “Even if we’ve only been dating a few weeks, don’t introduce us as your ‘lady friend’ — or that’s exactly what we’ll become.”


9. Jenna Fischer
   
   “If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble.”


10. Julie Delpy
    
    “We need you to be reachable at all times, but we don’t always pick up our phones when you call. We realize this seems like a double standard; if you’d like to discuss it further, just leave a message.”


11. Maria Bello
    
    “We’re afraid of commitment, too. You may think we spend our time scheming ways to trap you into marriage, but many of us are quite happy being independent and autonomous. Besides, we’re not in any rush to quit lusting after young Calvin Klein models.”


12. Kyra Sedgwick
    
    “Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends.”

What we think, know, or believe is of little consequence. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is “what we do!” … Brenda Venus

Feel the need for speed, anybody? Well, technology feeds that need. So welcome to the Matrix… the age of “instant gratification” – fast, furious, bigger, better, stronger, lighter, cleaner, more precise… advances in dating technology, techno talk, nanosecond news feeds from across the planet, nanotechnology advancing us light years into the future. You are now in Cyberspace…the hottest pick-up joint on the planet. Forget instant love, if you can have instant sex!

The dating technology of text messaging, video chatting, meeting on facebook, my space, twitter, craigslist, etc. can also be troublesome, creating too many options, distractions, eye candy. Instead of focusing on growing one great relationship, the network opens doors you won’t have time to shut, much less appreciate. But let’s face it, everybody is somewhere on a network, relating in some way to everyone else.

These networks give us ways to learn from a remarkable range of people — their ideas…frustrations and dreams. Kinda like going to a big party, everyday, where you can hear and say almost anything. And usually with the notion that the exchanges, no matter how fleeting, do have the ability to open up new windows, hopefully, without the consequences of proximity or attachments, if so desired. And it gives one a bold and brazen, assertive, confident and in control attitude, regardless of age, color, race or creed. That very boldness has a type of genius, power and magic, which makes it all so hypnotic and addictive, and which gives one the feeling of belonging, of being loved, cared for and adored — that is if you select a nice group of friends to occupy your site. IE: INTERNET DATING has become a global theater where people are actors on a stage w/ their own circle of family or global friends who occupy any and every type of profession imaginable — choose what you need or want for the moment… info, music, advice, a word of comfort, camaraderie, or a warm ear to pass the night away – available 24/7. Sweet!

Internet dating/online chatting/mental bonding is the new sexual revolution, the language of technology is the new communication — words and pictures mixed with media, and I’m here to help it on its way…!

People are exploring different ideas and concepts in a safe environment. Stimulating their minds, first, and allowing their bodies to follow. Get to know the other person behind the computer, either sitting in your robe, sweats, a t-shirt & boxers, or simply naked. Who’s to know?

Because we are a sophisticated society, we now need certain levels of comfort for personal networking to continue to work. Being nameless and faceless stimulated the mind, but the body did not follow, usually.

We could show or search for people of the same likes online and hide behind a screen name or an avatar. Now we’ve linked the two together through the venues.

The old way: stimulate the visual and the body will follow. I do not feel it will ever end the organic way of interaction. Nothing feels better than the touch! Nothing! But… as a filtering process, it is a very effective and efficient way, prior to the organic way of interaction.

Let’s talk about the major technologies used in dating and the effect they have had on your dating life. So how is internet dating &/or making friends working for you? I would love to hear your thoughts…