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Dita Von Teese

dita-von-teeseI recently purchased a calendar from the 1940’s for no particular reason other than that I liked all the fantasy women – long legs, tapered fingers, beautiful breast, shapely buttocks, flouncy hair, and pearly teeth (the Betty Grable type of pin-up icon exuding grace, femininity and fun).

Dita is a calendar girl in her own right. When I met with her, time raced back to the 1940’s -– black hair hanging down her back, adorned on the side with a big red flower; long eye lashes framing electric blue eyes; red lips curling upward into a bow; white skin and unusually painted nails. My assistant, Matt, was taken aback as she introduced herself. I complimented her look and asked if she had dressed that way for me? She replied, “Actually, I just came off a Playboy shoot and I didn’t have time to change.” I replied, “I’m glad. You look divine!” At which point we hurried into my car and rode off for a cup of coffee.

All through the interview, I couldn’t help but notice that there appeared to be nothing more than a black lace slip under her coat. I thought that during her rush to arrive at my place punctually, she might have forgotten her dress. The café was heating up, and curiosity was getting the better of me when I asked her if she wanted to remove her coat. She said, “Yes,” and let it slip down her shoulders revealing a beautiful black silk and lace garment. A little embarrassed, she announced that she was only wearing a forties-style slip. “That’s delightful and very sexy. It certainly doesn’t bother me if doesn’t bother you, I rather like it” I said. She smiled and relaxed. I’ve always been fond of elegant and daring women. Dita is in that class.

 

Brenda:

Dita, you said that you were born in Rochester, Michigan, then moved to a little town called West Branch where you grew up. When did you move to California?

Dita:

When I was fourteen my dad got a job in California, so we moved to Orange County and I’ve been out here for about ten years.

 

Brenda:

Did you have dance training?

Dita:

Yeah, I studied ballet from age four to nineteen. And for a long time I wanted to be a ballerina. But around fifteen I wanted to have a social life and do other things, and I realized that being a ballerina takes a lot of hard work, talent and time. I saw that it came naturally to the other dancers. It didn’t come naturally to me. I’ll try something until I realize that I’m not meant to do it, and then I’ll move on. You see, in Michigan I was a big fish in a little pond, but out here in LA, I am a little fish in a big pond, so I’ve turned my sights to other things.

 

Brenda:

What other things?

Dita:

Well, I’m a very creative person and I’ve always felt creative with fashion, style and home decorating. I like beauty and I’m really good at choosing what is beautiful. I realize that’s where my talents are better expressed. Now I have to figure out how it fits into the world. I’m a Libra and I must have harmony and balance in my life. When things are out of balance, I get them back to where they belong.

 

Brenda:

Were you creative as a child?

Dita:

Yes, I think so. I was really shy. When the other kids were playing, I would love to read Cosmo, Vogue and all mom’s  magazines. I use to read the articles too. I was eight years old and I reading those articles. I also liked English history. I used to read about Henry VIII and all of his wives. It was like a big soap opera to me.

 

Brenda:

How about your  education?

Dita:

dita von teese corsetI never thought, “I can’t wait to grow up and go to college. I want to be a doctor or lawyer.” I just wanted to be a woman. I just wanted to grow up and be a grown woman. I did not want to be a little girl.

 

Brenda:

What about men? When did you begin to notice them?

Dita:

I’ve always noticed them. I use to dream about them. I even had imaginary boyfriends.

 

Brenda:

When was your first kiss?

Dita:

When we arrived in LA. I was still playing with my dolls, but all the girls were so advanced, so I had an encounter with a boy. It lasted for about a week. It was my very first kiss and I was kind of blown away. But we just kissed, of course. I didn’t have another boyfriend for a while.

 

Brenda:

At what age did you start masturbating?

Dita:

Actually, the first time I masturbated was in eighth grade. I had a girlfriend who showed me how. She would sit across from me and play with herself and I would play with myself in the same way. Then she would sit in the chair and I would sit on top of her lap. She would play with me and suck on my breasts. After a while, we would trade positions. The whole thing is vague. At the time, it was like, “Oh, Wow!” The girl that taught me is now a lesbian. I know that for sure.

 

Brenda:

How old were you when you first had intercourse?

Dita:

I had just turned fourteen, just come from Michigan. I had never had much attention from boys. I had met this eighteen-year-old guy and he took me to Catalina Island. I had one drink. I tried to stop him, but he pushed me further than I wanted to go. But once it was done, It was done.

 

Brenda:

It wasn’t a pleasurable experience?

Dita:

No, it was not a pleasurable experience. After that, I thought, “Well, Okay, I’m not a virgin anymore so what’s the point!” So I had sex with about three or four guys after that, just to see what was out there. It was still kinda weird for a while. Then, I met a guy who became my boyfriend. That’s when it started getting good. Through him, I realized that it’s all about him getting to know me and me getting to know him. I was about fifteen or sixteen and we became really close. We stayed together for about three and a half years, all through high school.

 

Brenda:

Was he a virgin?

Dita:

Yeah. He was a virgin. I didn’t know much, so we sort of learned together. It was great.

 

Brenda:

After him, did you get into older men?

Dita:

Yeah, when I was seventeen, I was dating men in their twenties, twenty-five or so.

 

Brenda:

What qualities do you like in a man?

Dita:

dita von teese corset bwI’ve always been attracted to men with dark hair. I also find that when I get attracted to his looks right away, it doesn’t work out as well as with a man who I meet and develop more slowly. It has to be more than looks to last. I’m attracted to men who are independent and strong. I have had good experiences with men. I don’t find myself being taken advantage of too often, and if I do, the relationship is soon over. I am definitely a magnet to a bad guy. I like men who have it together.

 

Brenda:

Is there a certain type that turns your head?

Dita:

I’m usually attracted to the model type – a strong jaw line, chiseled face, and full lips. I don’t’ like long hair on men. . . ever!! There’s no exception to that rule. It’s one of my particulars. I do like a bit of facial hair on men – goatees and sideburns — not beards, not mustaches.

 

Brenda:

Are there any women who you really admire?

Dita:

As an actress, I like Uma Thurman. I think she’s elegant, classy. She looks like a star and she acts like one. I like her choice in roles. I also like Sherilyn Fenn, too. She has such a unique look. I think she’s really sexy.

 

Brenda:

You remind me of a bit of Sherilyn Fenn. Do you have other favorite women?

Dita:

Well, I collect pin-up art. I like the pin-up girl. She’s just a beautiful girl. She’s everything. I’ve always tried to imitate more art than actual people.

 

Brenda:

I can see in your modeling that you try to pose like the pin-up pictures you admire, right?

Dita:

Yes.

 

Brenda:

Are you into Betty Page?

Dita:

Yes, very much. But I can’t remember the first time I ever saw Betty Page.

 

Brenda:

“Playboy” did a big issue on her. Did you see the issue?

Dita:

Yes. I have a lot of her movies. In several of them, she’s spanking other girls and she’s working over other girls. The fact that she was the dark angel in an era with all the other blondes and redheads. It’s like wow; she’s so cool. I was imitating her a lot because nobody else really was. She was really unique.

 

dita von teese paintingBrenda:

Are you into fetishes?

Dita:

Yes. I’ve always been into corsetry. When I first saw the turn of the century corsets, I thought, “Wow, where can I get one of those?”

 

Brenda:

You mean like the one like Vivien Leigh wore in Gone With The Wind?

Dita:

Yes, I love that look – the waist cinched in as far as it will go. And yes, I think that Vivien Leigh was amazing, just brilliant. Anyway, I saved my money ($250.00 dollars) and went to a place that sold corsets where I had one fitted for me. It was my eighteenth or nineteenth birthday, so I bought it as a gift for myself. Incidentally, the place that makes corsets is the fetish clothing industry. The corsets are made by the fetish industry. The company that makes these corsets makes all the PVC’s which is a shiny, stretchy type fabric that’s easy to wear; latex is actually rubber and fits like a second skin – condoms are made of latex. This company also makes bondage paraphernalia and all sorts of things. That’s how I got involved in the fetish world.

 

Brenda:

You mean by buying a boned and lace-up corset?

Dita:

In a roundabout way. You see, my sister was organizing a fashion show and she knew this amazing lady who owned the company, a corporate woman who was also Queen of the Fetish World — an icon, a dominatrix, a sex Goddess. So I went “Wow, she’s so neat!” Then I went into her store and saw her pictures and instantly wanted to look like her. I got involved with that look. The shiny look, the high gloss, the corsets. Along with fetishes, the style of the 1950’s, the lingerie, etc., is a big part. So the lady looked at me for the first time and said, “You are what I want my models to look like.” And so I started working with her for fetish fashion shows. And it snowballed from there. It all started with me walking into her store. Now people know me all over the world. I fly all over Germany, all over Europe, New York. Every fetish magazine has me on the cover. I started in one little end of it and decided to do it the best anybody ever did it. And so far I’ve done what I set out to do.

 

Brenda:

That’s certainly commendable. How did you get into dominating?

Dita:

I’m was never a dominatrix, but I was around it all the time. I figured, okay, if these men want to be my slave and sit at my feet, fine. I’ll let them.

 

Brenda:

Was it fun? Was it sexy to you?

Dita:

It was fun sometime. It turned me on to dress the part, more than to actually do it.

 

Brenda:

You mean the black latex, leather, or patent? The high stiletto heels or thigh-high boots? The tight, lace-up corsets, etc.?

Dita:

Exactly

 

Brenda:

How small do you cinch?

Dita:

Oh, I can lace-up to a sixteen-inch waist.

 

Brenda:

That’s remarkable. The last time I had a sixteen-inch waist, I was twenty years old.

What do you think of the type of man who likes to be dominated and humiliated?

Dita:

It’s all a mental thing. I have fetishes that make me go through the ceiling, and someone might say, “Why does that turn you on? What is that?” So I have a little saying, “I don’t like men who don’t have any fetishes.” They’ve got to have something that makes them a little crazy. I dated this guy once, and nothing I could do to him would send him through the roof. A fetish is not liking big boobs or a certain ass. It has to be something like licking the bottom of my shoe, or watching me brush my teeth. I don’t care what it is as long as they have a fetish.

 

Brenda:

So to you a fetish is something that’s kinky, strange, weird, a mental quirk that clicks in their head and drives them wild.

Dita:

Yeah, I think that’s a really neat thing for people to have.

 

dita-von-teese-interview

 

Brenda:

Well, Dita, what exactly is your particular fetish? What turns you on?

Dita:

I love to dress for sex. I love to lace down in a corset. When I cinch my waist to sixteen, that turns me on just looking at it. I love how being cinched feels. I love nylon stockings. I like wearing really high heels. I like being tied up. I like to be like a little doll to a man, like a little pet. But, we’re just talking about sex, so that doesn’t mean I am mindless. This is just for sex-play.

 

Brenda:

Yes, of course! And while we’re on this sexy subject, give me the Dita style romantic evening?

Dita:

The perfect evening for me is to go anywhere I can be dressed to the nines.

 

Brenda:

An elegant restaurant? The ballet? The opera?

Dita:

Yes. I’ll take all day to prepare. I’ll wake up late. I’ll take a long bubble bath and be shaved perfectly, legs bikini line, etc. take all the time in the world – my favorite music playing. Give myself a pedicure, paint my fingernails, my hair perfectly clean and coifed. Give myself a mini-facial; rub on my favorite body lotions — something expensive and fabulous that I only save for special occasions. Just spending all the time I need to get ready.

 

Brenda:

How do you prepare your pubic area?

Dita:

I like to look like a woman, so I leave the hair on the top. I want it to appear as though I have a nice amount of hair when looking from the front. I think that is ultra sexy. I don’t like the completely bald look. I think looking like a little girl is not attractive. Looking like a woman is. I use to be into dying my pubic hair whatever color my hair was. Now I don’t even do that. When I was a redhead, I would dye my pubic hair red. And now that I am a brunette, I dye it black.

 

Brenda:

What color are you now?

Dita:

Natural. Like it appears in Playboy.

 

dita von teeseBrenda:

Okay, let’s go on with the evening? Now that your entire body is perfectly prepared, what would you wear?

Dita:

I would wear forties lingerie, a wide lace garter belt, my finest $65.00 nude vintage stockings encased with the toe and foot and a black seam up the back. I have some with the Empire State Building on the back with rhinestones and they go into a black seam. Nothing makes me happier than to wear those stockings. My favorite forties black silk shoes with a small platform. I would wear a skirt right below the knee, like a medium little hobble skirt. I’m not into short mini-skirts. I won’t wear one. It’s goes against my sense of femininity. I want to be able to sashay through a room and not be constantly adjusting myself. I like to dress conservatively when I go out, because I like the art of dressing and being undressed. I want people to wonder what’s underneath. I’m not always that way, but on this night, yes.

 

Brenda:

Are you wearing a suit?

Dita:

Let’s say . . .yes, a black forties suit and rhinestone earrings and a nice rhinestone pin. A black lace bra. Although I like wearing panties, on this night, I would be with a man, who appreciates my efforts, so I would put on a forties looking girdle. The more he has to admire and take off, the more fun and exciting for the both of us.

 

Brenda:

What does the man look like?

Dita:

I don’t expect any man to keep up with me. Usually, I don’t go out with men who wear suits. As long as a man is confident with himself, that’s all that matters.

 

Brenda:

Do you tease the man at dinner?

Dita:

I’m very reserved until a man pushes me over the edge, sexually. On a date, I am not into sexual innuendoes. I’m very much a lady. I like to be a lady all night, until . . .

 

dita von teese glovesBrenda:

I can’t wait!! Okay, he’s taking you home. What’s next?

Dita:

He would be very slow and very tender and revel in taking off my clothes. He’s aggressive, but he’s really tender. Do you know what I mean?

 

Brenda:

Yes, he might snap your garter seductively and knowingly, and look into your eyes while he feels the art of your womanhood, but he makes you feel as though you’re the first real woman he’s kissed, touched, caressed, right?

Dita:

Where is he? Yes, I like a man who senses what I want, the way I want it, but I don’t necessarily like to be thrown around. You know how you see in the movies where they are in the kitchen and throwing the knives off the table and plopping the girl on the table. That’s not my way. I like to be handled firmly, but slowly until I am really into it. I like the buildup.

 

Brenda:

The slow tease?

Dita:

Right! I want him to make eye contact with every move he’s making. I love to be talked to. Not necessarily dirty at first. He’ll get to the dirty stuff when it’s the right time. But at first, I’m put off if he talks too dirty, too early. It has to be completely unique. There needs to be some thought to what he’s saying. Not like, “I want to fuck you!” I’ve heard that a million times. I don’t want to hear words from a porno movie. I want to hear what he’s thinking about me! And I like to be told what to do. I want him to tell me exactly what he wants, so I have no problem telling him what I want him to do to me.

 

Brenda:

What if he asked you to go down? Is that a problem?

Dita:

No. I would love that. Another scenario would be if he were making me beg him to do it. That’s kinda fun too.

 

Brenda:

Do you think that mutually exchanged oral sex is a big part of sex or making love?

Dita:

DEFINITELY!! It’s the most important part. Because you can always do that if other things aren’t working.

 

Brenda:

Is there a certain position you need for orgasm?

Dita:

I just love having someone on top of me. But there is a mental side of me that loves to be taken from behind and have my hands held or tied behind me.

 

Brenda:

Can you actually orgasm in doggy?

Dita:

Only if I am being handled the right way. For instance if my hands are tied behind my back, it just puts me though the roof. If it’s not all-mental and I am just in that position, then no, I cannot orgasm. It really has to be mental with me. I need a man who understands what I’m thinking. He has to realize or sense what I want.

 

Brenda:

Can you orgasm with a penis?

Dita:

I have to think really hard. And I’m usually touching myself, or he’s touching me at the same time his penis is inserted.

 

dita von teese bed

 
Brenda:

Masturbating your clitoris?

Dita:

Yes, exactly.

 

Brenda:

Have you been masturbated into orgasm under the table at a restaurant?

Dita:

Yes. Oh yes!

 

Brenda:

What are some dangerous places?

Dita:

I haven’t done it a lot in dangerous places. But I have done it on a picnic table at the beach in plain view one time. There’s a lot of exploration I’ve yet to do in that field.

 

Brenda:

What about your turn-off’s

Dita:

I don’t like it when a man won’t do something that I want him to do. When he’s not into the same things that I am into; or when a man is righteous, and just wants straight sex; or when he wants to get it over, quickly. Those things bother me!

 

Brenda:

If a man doesn’t go down, does that bother you?

Dita:

It’s never happened, but if it did, he would be gone!! He wouldn’t even get to have sex with me if he didn’t go down. Period! I tend to be with men who are very oral; who will go down on me all day and all night; who are a bit racy; who are open minded; and who thinks more like me. I don’t date conservative men who won’t do this and who won’t do that. Pass!

 

dita von teese nudeBrenda:

Other pet peeves?

Dita:

Men who are too eager – very disturbing. A man should have a life. He should be busy with something he likes to do, because I’m busy doing what I like to do. I have too much going on to have a guy who is always there waiting to call me or take me out.

 

Brenda:

How about some turn-on’s?

Dita:

Oh, I love a sexy voice. So leaving a message on my answering machine is great. But I don’t want to get a message every day, because it’s nice to be able to think about his message for a few days, you know what I mean? I want to want somebody really bad. To try and uncover the mystery, to find out about him slowly.

 

Brenda:

Other turn-on’s

Dita:

Well, I love to write. I love to write handwritten perfumed letters. Writing gives me the freedom to tell a man how I feel rather than to tell him face to face. And when a man writes me a letter, I like the fact that I can go back and read over and over what he wrote. Writing is forever.

 

Brenda:

Sexual turn-on’s?

Dita:

I get turned on watching a man masturbate, and I get turned on when he watches me. I like being spanked, but I don’t like to announce it, so I’ll drop subtle little hints and let him think about what I meant all day. For example, at a friend’s birthday party, I would say, “God, I wish I were getting a birthday spanking!” I like to be spanked while having sex. It’s something that I really love, but I can’t seem to find a man who is brave enough to do it, well. Most men are taking kamagra before having sex, so they just don’t do it. I’m thinking, “This is hot sex, it’s not like wife beating here, just do it!” So a lot of guys are not brave enough. It’s kind of like a constant goal, “Am I going to find a man to do the things to me that I like, and do them well? Is he going to get off too while he’s doing it? You know what I mean?

 

Brenda:

I do know what you mean! How about other women? Have you had sex with other women?

Dita:

Actually, men are my preference, but I have been with women before and women are a fantasy of mine. I’ve dated women, you know, like truly dated them. I like older men because they tend to understand more of my mindset and they are not threatened by the fact that I enjoy women too. Younger men are threatened by my choices.

 

Brenda:

Have you been to gay bars and such?

Dita:

Yeah, I used to work in a lesbian bar. I used to meet a lot of girls that way, but you know, I tend to be around a lot of girls anyway, and they are real open about their sexuality. So, yes, I date a lot of girls who turn out to be just friends. But when I date a woman, it’s someone who’s really special, really beautiful. I don’t date a lot of women. It’s never been an intense love, but it has been infatuation.

 

Brenda:

When was the first time you desired a women?

Dita:

When I was about twenty. But I’ve always seen the beauty in women, even when I would steal my dad’s nude magazines. I would think, “Oh, these girls look so beautiful.” I have always appreciated the divine beauty of women.

 

Brenda:

Are you the aggressor?

Dita:

No. I prefer for her to make love to me, but I return the favor as well. I tend to be with women who are more like, “Here’s what we’re gonna do!” I have a hard time making the first move on a girl. It would be easier for me to make the first move on man.

 

dita von teese lipsBrenda;

Ultimate fantasy?

Dita:

I don’t know what my ultimate fantasy really is. I mean I read a lot. I read a lot of Henry Miller and Anais Nin, and they are full of fantasies for me. But if I had a passionate urge to act out a fantasy, I would have already done it, you know what I mean?

 

Brenda:

Have you had a threesome?

Dita:

Yeah, I did, and I enjoyed it. I wouldn’t have a threesome with somebody I cared about. I’m really into visual stimulation and I like to watch people having sex. I’ve actually made love to another girl while a man watched. I like to be watched or watch. That would be more acceptable to me than having a threesome with someone I cared about. There’s always a problem with threesome’s. Something always goes wrong, somebody gets jealous, etc. I’ve heard tons of horror stories, and I could see how it could happen. So why bother.

 

Brenda:

Which fantasy have you acted out?

Dita:

I was dominating a girl while a lot of people looked on. It was with a bunch of friends. I tied her up, went down on her, and completely did her. This girl had waited for me to do this to her for two years while we were having an affair.

 

Brenda:

When you do another girl, do you use toys?

Dita:

I’m not really into mechanical things. You know, I do have a fantasy about my current boyfriend watching me do things with another girl. In the fantasy, he looks very detached. He’s sitting in a chair smoking a cigarette and enjoying the scene, but he’s not showing any emotion. He’s not masturbating wildly or going crazy or anything. He’s so cool. He’s just watching me be pleasured and he’s enjoying it. I think about that a lot.

 

Brenda:

I think a man who could watch his woman being pleasured by another women without the flick of an eyelash would definitely be very poised. When you masturbate, or have an orgasm with a penis inserted in you, do you think fantasy, or reality?

Dita:

Oh, I’m usually thinking of who I’m going with at the time. I don’t fantasize about strangers or movie stars or anybody else except who I am with. I’m very faithful to the one I love even in my fantasies. It’s in my nature.

 

Brenda:

It’s admirable to totally love the man you’re with. What do you prefer him to wear during sex?

Dita:

I want him to look, dress and act like a man. Nothing strange, please!

 

Brenda:

Is there anything special you would like to tell men to help them become better lovers?

Dita:

Don’t move too fast. Don’t be too eager. Don’t be in too much of a hurry to get sex over and done with. All the women I know, just wouldn’t be with a man who doesn’t go down on a woman. It’s totally unacceptable, no matter what the hang-up. We do it, they should too. So just be creative, and kinky and wild and fun.

 

Brenda:

That’s good advice. Most women can picture what they don’t want, but they have difficulty putting into words what they ‘do’ want. Can you express what you really, really want?

Dita:
Yes, through this story: I knew a man who did everything to me just the way I would do it to myself if I could, and he did it so well. I couldn’t stop thinking of him. He was on my mind all the time. One night, he tied me up from the shower, blindfolded me, and dripped hot candlewax all over my body. Because I was blindfolded, I never knew if he was inches away or in the next room conjuring up something unimaginable. The curiosity was titillating. He played with every inch of my body; he sucked on every inch of my body. He had his fingers everywhere. He played with me both mentally and physically all night long. He spanked me and just excited me out of my mind. He totally dominated me. It was the most memorable, pleasure, and exotic experience I have ever had. . . and he never did it again! I loved it, and he never did it again. I dated him three and a half years . . . and he never did it again! I kept waiting and waiting and I finally asked him to do it again and he replied, “Well, I can’t do it again. It was a surprise. If I did that for you all the time, you would get bored with me.”

 

Brenda:

Well, at least you had one explosive night. A lot of women have never even had a moment of sexual eroticism or sexual bliss! Now Dita, what would make you a memorable lover?

Dita:

Dressing for sex and enjoying every minute of it. I think that most men are visual, and I put a lot of effort into what they like. I want to look like my Playboy magazine layout. I want the man to say, “Tonight, you look just like you do in your photos.” That would be very satisfying to me. Very satisfying!

 

©2016 Brenda Venus